Do Nice People Actually Get Ahead?

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One of the oldest debates in business—and life—is surprisingly simple:

Should you be nice?

Many people believe the world rewards the ruthless. Nice people finish last. Winners do whatever it takes.

There’s some evidence for that view. More than 500 years ago, Niccolò Machiavelli wrote The Prince, arguing that leaders sometimes need to prioritize results over being liked. The book remains controversial precisely because parts of it still feel true.

But modern research points in a different direction.

In Give and Take, Adam Grant found that people who consistently help others often outperform their peers over the long run—not despite their generosity, but because of it. Strong relationships compound.

Similarly, in Humankind, Rutger Bregman argues that humans are far more cooperative than we're often led to believe. Trust, kindness, and reciprocity aren't weaknesses. They're part of what allowed societies to flourish in the first place.

So who's right?

Maybe the problem is the question.

The real choice isn't between being nice and being successful.

It's between being kind and being a pushover.

The most effective people tend to combine warmth with boundaries. They're generous with their time, but not endlessly available. They're willing to help, but they're also willing to say no.

In other words, they aren't nice because they want something in return.

They're nice because it's a good way to live—and it often turns out to be a good way to succeed.

The takeaway:

Be kind. Be useful. Have boundaries.

The combination is harder than being ruthless, but it may be more effective.

Thanks for reading,

Andrew

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