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The Courage To Be Disliked
The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
What if happiness isn’t about being liked, but about living authentically?
In The Courage to Be Disliked, Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga introduce Adlerian psychology through a five-night dialogue between a philosopher and a skeptical youth. Together, they explore how letting go of the need for approval can lead to true freedom and lasting happiness.
SMARTEST TAKEAWAYS
Break Free and Live Authentically
1️⃣ Your Past Doesn’t Define You: Trauma doesn’t determine your future—what matters is the meaning you assign to it and how you choose to live now.
2️⃣ Separate Your Tasks: Not everyone will like you—and that’s okay. Their opinions are their responsibility, not yours. Focus on what you can control.
3️⃣ All Problems Are Relationship Problems: Life’s challenges stem from interpersonal dynamics. By building horizontal relationships (based on equality), you can foster healthier connections.
Ichiro Kishimi writes and lectures on Adlerian psychology, and Fumitake Koga is an award-winning professional writer who encountered Adlerian psychology and was deeply affected by its conventional wisdom.
INSIGHTFUL EXAMPLE
Hiding Behind Excuses
The philosopher shares the story of a student who claims they can’t study because they’re “lazy.” But laziness, the philosopher argues, isn’t the real issue—it’s an excuse. The student is afraid of trying and failing, so they avoid studying altogether to protect their self-worth.
The takeaway? We often hide behind excuses like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m too lazy” to avoid facing our fears. But once we stop blaming external factors, we can take control and move forward.
BOOK FACTS
The Courage To Be Disliked
First Published: May 8, 2018
Print length: 288 pages
Listening length: 6:29
Ratings: 4.5 Amazon, 3.9 Goodreads
WORTH WATCHING
Summary of the Book
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